Self -care refers to our actions and attitudes which contribute to the maintenance of our well-being and personal health. Self-worth is the sense of our own value or worth as a person; it is what enables us to believe that we are capable of doing our best with our talents, contributing to society and that we deserve to lead a fulfilling life. Building our self-worth and embracing self-care are a natural, essential and healthy requirements of authentic wholehearted living.
- Replace the word selfish with self-care. Often we get caught up in the old negative belief that to care for your self means you are being selfish. One of the fundamental requirements of our own personal growth and development is to be able to prioritise ourselves. To get our own needs met before we can share ourselves freely with our family, friends and through our work.
- Dump perfectionism and move to a place of gratitude and self-acceptance. Society in general has us sold on the perfect unattainable life. This sets us up with thoughts and behaviours aimed at reaching excessively high unrealistic goals. Embrace the practice of gratitude and fill your world with the perspective ‘I am enough just as I am’.
- Let go of the need to please. Forget being the ‘good’ girl or boy. What do you want? What would it mean in the moment if you were to please yourself? Could you risk it and say “no”.
- Learn to say “No.” This way, when you say yes it will be for things that are truly meaningful to you. When you learn to say no to things and people, it helps you prioritize and remember what’s in your best interest. You also begin to like and appreciate yourself for having your own back. The reality is that only you can have your back because, you’re the only person who can know what you truly want.
- Forgive yourself and let go of the story of your past. The only way to move beyond the past is to let go of it. We all make mistakes, but holding on to them, or telling yourself how badly you’ve done won’t help you achieve anything positive in your life.
- Work on being kind to yourself with your words. If you spoke to your friends, children or partner the way you sometimes speak to yourself you would be considered cruel and mean. So why put yourself through that kind of internal dialogue. Choose your thoughts and self-talk wisely and with the kindness you would share with a loved one.
- Be in the here and now and embrace this moment. The past has its lessons from which you’ve learned but it’s long gone, so leave it behind you. The only moment that truly matters is now. It is the only moment that “is,” after all. Nothing else is a sure thing. And if this moment isn’t what you want to be, make it so the next moment is.
- Limit your apologies only for when you hurt people. Only say sorry when you’ve hurt someone. When you continuously say sorry for making mistakes, you’re basically apologizing for living. We all make mistakes in life- that is guaranteed. It’s nothing to be apologetic about. It also makes your apology to someone you’ve hurt more meaningful and special because you aren’t throwing around the word a lot.
- Learn to overcome a fear of self-love. Self-love is often equated with narcissism, egotism, and some kind of one-way trip to a negative form of introversion. This is probably partly because the English language has a hard time dealing with the word “love” – it has to cover a lot of territory for the many different types of love out there. It is also mired in the confusion people feel about the message to do good unto others, to always be charitable, and to give, give, give, of oneself. While these are noble intentions, they can often be taken out of proportion and used to downplay putting one’s own needs and wants beneath those of others out of a fear of being perceived as selfish or inward-looking. This is about getting the balance right.
Easily said than done though right? There is nothing more deserving of your investment of energy, time and focus than embracing and increasing your relationship with your self-worth through self-care. Remember you are inherently worthy because you are here, human and living this one amazing life!
If this work resonates with you right now and you would like to embrace more self-care into your life I am running a one day workshop at Sana Wellness Saturday 18th October 10am-4pm. For more information call me on 0417 541 838.
Wishing you well,