Hi beautiful people,
Over this past month it has really come into my awareness how influential the impact of loneliness is on our community. For all the supposed advancements in technology, internet speed and access to one another it seems that less connections are really being made and more loneliness is being felt.
Last week my daughter called me on her phone from her bedroom to talk to me…it was one of those moments where I could have had a laugh and gone along with it and seen the funny side of this interaction but I was acutely aware of the missed opportunity I had for face to face personal connection with her. Has the ease and convenience that technology provided for us trumped the deep need we have for personal intimate connection and communication?
The amazing Dr Lissa Rankin recently did a Tedx talk on the subject of loneliness and based on the evidence she concluded that loneliness may be the single greatest risk factor for disease above diet, exercise, smoking, genetic and other lifestyle factors. The problem is we can feel helpless in the face of our loneliness.
Sometimes it is really hard to reach out, to find that connection with others, especially for those of us that are introverts. Yet all of us are tribal beings that desire to be in connection with one another.
So many people ask me how do I find my tribe? How do overcome this sense of isolation and loneliness?
Although there is no specific formula, there are things we can do to prepare and open us for connection.
It is not necessarily about the quantity of connections and people in our lives, it is about the quality of connection we feel firstly with ourselves.
Healing our relationship with ourselves and learning to be our own best friend is the primary way we start to overcome a sense of loneliness. Increasing our sense of worthiness, knowing we deserve to have beautiful connections and people in our lives, raising our vibration and opening ourselves to receive support, connection and friendship is the first place we start to recognise our own value and realise what we have to contribute to our tribes.
As we lean into the relationships with have with family, friends and our community the invitation is there to let go of perfectionism and give ourselves permission to be imperfect so we don’t separate ourselves from others from a place of fear.
Increasing our self-awareness, knowing our wounds and realising that our fear of rejection, abandonment, judgement or not being good enough influence how we show up in relationships.
Accept our vulnerability and taking the risk to show others our perceived imperfections and flaws and yet still giving others permission to love us anyway.
Be open to receiving love and care from others and recognising it’s not just about giving but being able to receive in relationship.
Being open to creating a tribe to share with others and not comparing our experiences and tribes with others.
Although easier said than done one of the most rewarding aspects of my life is the deep connection I feel with my family, friends, community and clients. As those of you who work with me know I don’t shy away from sharing my story and life experiences. Although risky as a therapist my hope is that by modeling my own capacity to be vulnerable, imperfect and flawed it gives others permission to also be their authentic selves.
I hope you have an amazing weekend and if you would like to plug into this tribe I have a few groups and a retreat next year I would love for you to join me in. Details are below.
Love Lisa x